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B-Rang – A Hatch Ode to Bratislava

by Matt Vowles Matt Vowles


  • Posted on Friday 18th October, 2019

And so once again it was that time of year,
The time that makes every Hatchling cheer.
Our annual trip to stir up some HR drama,
This year seeing us land in glorious…Bratislava.

Arriving at our hotel we were pleasantly surprised,
The facilities were great, just as advertised.

Hats off to our wonderful office manager, Bianca,
We all just want to take a moment to thank her.

Jason came with his black t-shirts, ready for a ‘do
Just wait while he stops to take a b-rang, will you?

James pulled out all the stops with his considerable influence,
Although we’ve not seen him wear his diamante t-shirt since….

Matt was a consummate professional and refused to dish any dirt,
The only splishy splashy fun this year was his sweaty jean shirt.

On with the Brexit weekend and boy did it fly by,
If you spotted Brett in the corridor, you’d have cried and asked why?

5 floors separated Vic and her new friend from Leeds naturally,
Or wait, was it “Six floors actually”

The London boys arrived first and were inseparable as ever,
Jack was oddly excited about sharing a room together.

And who heard Nathanial speaking with a slight southern tone,
Or saw the Murphy brothers dressed like the burglars from Home Alone.

Sharing with Alex you’d have thought meant a good night’s kip,
But it turns out that it really is “all in the hips”.

On the very first night Emma banged her head, it looked sore
What are we to do with her? I know…GRYFFINDOR!

Hannah couldn’t believe her eyes, the club was so full,
It must have been the guest appearance from Slovakian Pitbull.

Alice thought she’d lucked out with her hotel room sharer,
That was until she had to turn into her full-time carer.

It looked like nothing was going to stop our very own Ruth,
Whether she’s losing her dignity, her purse or a tooth.

Lucy was a few gins deep coming into land,
She’s 100% the girl to go to if you need to be fanned.

You can’t beat an away trip speaking to Helen too,
Oversharing about her love life and needing the loo.

Lucie did her best to be sensible and wise,
But could see how she really was from those drunk Northern eyes.

The last remaining Holly was nearly no more,
When she was accidentally dropped on her head to the floor

Our youngest member Caitlin just had to stop and stare,
But with her new Hatch lanyard she’s going nowhere.

Meriel (or is it Sheila) was throwing shapes to club riff,
She’s sure come a long way from her very first GIF.

Despite Milly’s fall outside the club she wasn’t wailing,
Even though her ankle looked like something from Alien.

Charlotte’s nights out can never be described as small,
On the platform at the club she sure gave it her all

If you’re going to Eastern Europe there’s only one person to take,
Paula, the multi-lingual MMA fighter who’s easy to mistake.

Slimmer of the Year Steven is just an absolute winner,
But boy does he still like several drinks with his dinner.

And as for me, well, my story is told,
To share trips with friends like these, it never gets old.

So a final thanks to Jason, James, Matt and Helen
For arranging the trip that left just one a near felon.
If there’s one thing for sure that each one of them knows,
It’s the best way to make Hatch Goes!

Love you Kate
What you do for us is no mean feat
Now can you hurry up and expense these receipts…